Tody's ashes

We lost Tody a year ago January. She was one of my closest friends - we met at Purdue oh so many years ago and the bond that formed that year in the middle 70s was strong. Tody, Candi, Cyndie and Mary Jane - we still get together almost every year. That bond is still strong. Tody was going to visit me here in Rwanda - we had just started making plans when a cerebral aneurysm took her while she was skiing in Colorado. This February some of Tody's ashes were lovingly spread in Colorado on those slopes by Jeannie and Rick, Tody's brother and sister-in-law, along with Mary Jane and Bruce, Margaret and Sally. A fitting place for her ashes to be released.

Candi made a wonderful CD of music for all of us this February, in remembrance of Tody - music has a way of transporting us through time and space, and Tody LOVED music. Since I was still in Rwanda, Candi put the CD in the mail - all the way to Rwanda. I even marked my calendar so I would know to look for it at the little post office down the street – everything takes about 35 days to get here from the US. But the date came and went – no CD from Candi. March and April passed... I’ve learned to be patient here so I waited some more. I traveled back to Indiana for the month of May. I talked to Candi when I got home, and she learned that for some strange reason the CD she tried to send me was held up in Kansas City! Of all places! Not Addis Ababa, Nairobi, Entebbe. Nope, in Kansas City. Go figure. So Candi made another copy for me, and sent it to Indianapolis. When it arrived, I played the CD from beginning to end, sitting on our couch in the family room with my eyes closed. Remembering. Singing out loud. Transported through time and space to our dorm room. Our apartment on Fowler. Our trips visiting one another over the years. Remembering Tody, remembering our friendship and fun times together. Remembering me all those years ago. Remembering who I am at my core.

Then I came back to Rwanda in early June. When I walked into my office there were two packages about the size of a CD sitting on my desk. One was from Candi, and one from Mary Jane. The CD had finally arrived from Kansas City! The other was my portion of Tody’s ashes. I had forgotten that they were coming for me to spread here in Rwanda. I just sat for a bit at my desk and gently held the package in my hands. Tody. Here in Rwanda at last. The package sat on my desk for about 3 weeks - I was wildly busy and wanted to wait until the right moment to release the ashes. The right place and a good, peaceful frame of mind for me.

Last week I was in Rumangabo. One of the most beautiful places on earth. It is in Congo, and is the park headquarters for the Virunga National Park. I brought the package - sitting comfortably next to my computer while I took care of a sick baby gorilla. The gorilla got better, and as I sat in my tent that night I again held the little package and thought about Tody - I would have brought her here when she visited and she would have LOVED it. Rumangabo is beautiful, exotic, and a little risky - yes, she would have loved it! But it still didn't feel quite right to me, so the package went back into the computer bag.

Last evening I went to a place called Virunga Lodge - way up on the top of a hill here in Rwanda, with a perfect view of all 6 volcanoes. One of the other most beautiful places on earth. Stunning really. As I was walking back to the truck after speaking to some visitors, the night was cool, the stars were shining, and the half moon was casting long shadows. It felt good. I felt good. I stopped by a small table and chairs that served as a rest spot for people who wanted to admire the view. And I gently opened the package and released Tody's ashes. I could see them lightly sprinkled over the foliage, bright in the moonlight. I smiled through tears - she smiled too I'm sure.

In my garden today

Ama and Boots

Uganda tomorrow

Going to Uganda tomorrow to try to take a snare from a baby gorilla. Send all your positive vibes our way - this is the same group we worked in 8 weeks ago. and this time the snare is around the baby's neck and shoulder. Three silverbacks, 2 blackbacks, a juvenile male and 2 moms with babies. We will need good luck....

And for smiles, here is Ama relaxing in her bed the other night!

Home, part 2

Last month I had a week at home in Indiana with my family and friends. It was great. Too short, but great. I got together with all my sisters and their kids for the first time in YEARS!!! Here we are, all together, on Halloween at Linda's house.

I also had a great time with all of the Newells at a gathering at our house - Veronica and Daniel are growing up so fast!

It was so wonderful to spend time with Bob, Sara, Taylor, Aaron and Sydney, and a great dinner out with Peg - Bob's mom. My cousin Kris also took the time to drive to Indy meet for lunch - we had a wonderful time. And of course cuddle time with Fred (he was a total wiggle butt - I miss him so), Dave and Misty too...I squeezed a lot of love and visiting into that week!



I had a great time at the zoo too, gave a talk or two, and just hung out at the hospital. It felt comfortable and familiar, and I loved seeing everyone!!!

I also was determined to squeeze in a massage - my aching back really wanted a good massage, so I made an appointment, and at 9am sharp I showed up at Massage Envy, only to find out they had NOT booked my appointment! I argued, pleaded, whined and got angry, to no avail. There was no appointment. Did I DREAM I made the appointment? Have I really lost my mind????? I was crushed. The only other time they had available was when I was not available.... No massage for me.

BUT THEN.... on my way home from the zoo, I passed a place called Dove Spa. I was drawn like a moth to a flame - I back massage might really be possible! I zipped into the parking lot and walked into the typically low light and mellow room, but nobody was around. Maybe they are all giving massages, I thought.

"HELLOOOOO?" I said softly. I was determined. Two Chinese women came hurrying to the check in window - I was so relieved - I was going to get that knot worked out of my back for sure!

The older woman said "You want furr body, backie or footie???".

"Uh, pardon me?" I said back, a little confused. I though they would take my name and make me fill out a full medical history...

"Furr body, backie or footie?"

"Well, uh, backie I guess."

"Ok, you go in room 1 take clothes off"

"Um, do you want my name?"

By this time a man walked in and welcomed me to Dove Spa. I thanked him and asked who would do my massage.

"The girls. Go to room 1 and take clothes off"

HMMM, I thought. But I REALLY needed a massage. I went to room 1 and took my clothes off. The younger woman came in and turned on some nice massage music and started in on my back. I said "you can push a little harder if you want" and she said "English no good", so I just relaxed and hoped for the best.

IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST MASSAGES I'VE EVER HAD!!!! She worked out the knot I'd had in my right shoulder for the past 6 months. I felt like a million bucks. Backie indeed. I'll go backie next time I'm home!!

Bob, Taylor and Sydney dropped me off at the airport. It was hard to leave in some ways, but I am so looking forward to Bob and Taylor's visit over Christmas! We'll trek gorillas on Christmas day, then visit several parks in Uganda. Can't wait!!!

I landed in Kigali and felt at home and familiar there too. After the 2 hour ride back to Ruhengeri it was great to see Leon's smiling face, and hear Faustin's wonderful laugh, and AMA!!!! She was soooo happy to see me!

When I got back to Ruhengeri I was surprised with a new MGVP retreat - a little bungalo behind my house where I can work, hide, and well, maybe drink some wine with my friends!

Home, part 1

Yesterday I was hurrying to get everything done that needed doing before I left for 2 weeks, and trying to say goodbye to everyone - then, as usual, I was a bit late, so I flew out the door to the waiting taxi, and when we were on our way I realize I had missed saying good bye to Ama. I will miss her!!!

Eddy and I are headed to Texas for an AAZV meeting - I am soooo happy Eddy won a scholarship so he can attend this meeting. He is one of our best and brightest, and a heck of a nice guy too! It will be great to have him there! We got to Kigali with absolutely no problems for either of our flights. Amazing. Unfortunately it was really hot, and I was so sweaty and very smelly by the time I got to immigration at Kigali airport that I was embarrassed, and I had another 36 hours to go…with no change of clothes...ugh. As I was filling out my immigration departure form I started to smell a familiar, but not so good smell. Not me, but Chewy. Ugh. Chewy is one of our guard dogs, and I love him like crazy, but he smells really bad (yeasty ears, chronic wet dog smell...). Where on earth was the small coming from????? Is it my pillow??? ME???? After some surreptitious sniffing, I realized with horror that it is my pants. Oh no. Mzungu that smells like sweat and wet dog getting ready to board a plane. Nice. I went to the bathroom and scrubbed my hands and tried to delicately clean my pits. But the pants.... nothing to be done.

A quick 1.5 hour flight to Nairobi, then a 3 hour wait. At Nairobi airport I am for the first time in months, surrounded by white people. I am used to hearing a language I don’t understand, but here there are dozens of languages. People in turbans, tons of American, Asian and European tourists, and Africans of every flavor in their beautiful colors. I walk, shop and watch. And sweat some more, but here in Nairobi there is such a bouquet of smells I blend in. After I check in, I am ushered into the air conditioned waiting area (thank god, my pants no longer smell like wet dog, at least to me, and I’m not getting any strange glances or crinkled noses in my general direction). But there are NO Africans in the waiting area. None. No people of color. Feels strange. I watch as countless people walk under an air duct that is dripping water every now and then. It feels a little like candid camera – people duck and look up, some bemused, some angry, and some just confused. Four older ladies walked under it, obviously traveling together, and they each one got dripped on, giggling and pointing at one another. Maybe that will be me and my girlfriends in another decade! It is amusing. Then Ty Pennington blares on the television – “GOOD MORNING CARTER FAMILY!!!!” Oh-my-god. I watched as the team meet the unfortunate and tearful family, send them on vacation, and then tear down a house that would be worth a fortune in Rwanda. But it isn’t in Rwanda. That’s what I have to keep telling myself. And so my re-entry to life in a developed country begins.

On the flight to London (boarded at midnight) I pulled on my socks and got out my fleece, trying to settle in for a sleep. I was seated next to 2 men who won a week long trip to Malawi through a trident chewing gum contest! Nobody wins those! They had a blast and stayed at the best lodges – no strings attached. Amazing. They didn't ask me what I did in Rwanda – I’m sort of glad, but sort of disappointed too. We all slept until they woke us for breakfast at 5am.

London. Heathrow. Cold wind when we deplane at 6am. Shiny and well lit with huge shops. Coffee and a muffin for $10. Perfumes and leather bags. People with pink hair, people with long tweed coats, young moms looking harried, backpackers. TONS of white people speaking English. Then I see a group of businessmen from Kenya, and feel a bit more at home in their midst for a moment. Not sure why…Maybe I still want to be part of that world?

Time to board the plane to Houston where I meet Eddy and we head to South Padre Island for a week. Then HOME for a week! I am soooo looking forward to family and friends! There will probably be lots of americans on this flight. Hope I don't smell too bad....

A day that got my heart rate elevated....

http://www.gorilladoctorsblog.org/field-blog/2010/10/20/intervention-in-uganda-saving-a-baby-mountain-gorilla-from-a.html